Getting word yesterday that one of my neighbor/friends’ house was broken into Wednesday stirred up all sorts of emotions and reactions in me. First I was saddened that their little guy was now understandably afraid, but then I was relieved of course that no one had been hurt. Now I’m just pissed.

It made me so mad and so protective of my neighbors that I was tempted to go out on the street with a pitchfork–in my pajamas. That is a little-known crime prevention tactic. People tend to stay away.

My other crime-fighting technique that I feel guilty for not employing as regularly this year as other years is my pine straw raking robber deterrent. I pull my car in front of empty houses on the pine straw laden section of my street during the quiet part of the day when I won’t be bothered/humiliated by passing traffic and grab my rake and plastic bags and get cracking. No one would dare break in to a nearby house while I’m talking to myself and getting pine needles in my hair and all over my clothes, which tend not to be my pajamas. I’m sorry I’ve been delinquent. There was a nice patch of pine straw down after that crazy storm, too. Mea culpa.

Now, I hope my neighbors don’t get too nervous and call the cops on me if they see me rooting through their glove compartments looking for their vehicle registration. I swear it’s for the good of the James River Park System! Just trying to finagle a few (or 160) more license plate applications this month. I swear I won’t break in to anyone’s car to get the required 350 completed James River Park license plate applications, but that’s all I won’t do.

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