With the Icelandic volcano spewing ash and the Gulf of Mexico spewing oil, perhaps Mother Earth is trying to tell us something.  I’m just not sure what. “Clean up your act” makes sense as a mother-saying in reference to the oil leak disaster, but it lacks consistency since Mother Nature is up north making a mess all over Europe with the ash. What is Mother Earth’s angle? Letting it all hang out of the volcano is letting polluters off the hook since they can point to nature and say, “But she did it first!”  At this point, I can only hope that some engineer (or writer) discovers that the cure for the Gulf of Mexico oil leak is volcanic ash–lots of it.

So it surprised me yesterday when I heard that people with Ph.Ds are thinking about stuffing garbage into the leaking holes a mile down in the Gulf of Mexico. That sounds almost too perfect for our wasteful way of life.  Want more oil to fuel our insatiable appetites? Buy more over-packaged crap and then throw it out–for the good of the environment.  Sounds very American to me.

When my house had a sewer line leak in the basement a couple of years ago, I called the plumber instead of using the crap in our furnace room so conveniently located near the leak to staunch the flow.  What was I thinking?  I suspect 1-800 -Got Junk might be in a good place if the garbage thing works out for plugging nasty manmade oil leaks. With everyone’s attics, basements, and garages stuffed with crap, that biz could clean up, so to speak, by jettisoning all those trucks full of smashed ping pong tables and cartons of National Geographics down into the Gulf instead of a landfill.  A business plan made in heaven.  But Mother Earth’s proverbial attic is already filling up with space junk.  I just can’t believe that she really wants our trash in her wet basement too.

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